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10 Pearls of Parenting

Posted by : Shruti Bhat Kamath

On : 22 June 2015

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Views : 1790

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As parents in today’s world, we have begun to wonder if God has started sending upgraded operating systems in children which we were never trained to handle! How are we supposed to cope with these children? How do we understand their mind set and handle them with care and discipline simultaneously?

The answer lies in upgrading our OS to sync with theirs! Below are 10 hacks to get there quickly

1. Tune yourself to the pulse of the Generation A+

Gen X, Y and Z is gone.

Unless you get yourself updated with the latest technology, kids’ lingo, upcoming movies, latest actors, actresses, singers, musical bands and market you will not be able to even gain entry into your child’s world. Simple ways – Use Google! and have a smartphone!

 

2. Play smart

Once you enter his world, you will speak your child’s language and hence,

  • You can enjoy the advantages of the upgraded OS and you also understand its disadvantages.
  • Your child will be more receptive to your advice
  • You will be able to discard all that is junk/ spam from his OS and re-boot it everytime.

 

3. Self re-boot (Selfie time)

How do you re-boot your child’s OS without re-booting your own?

  • Be it 5 mins or one hour, it is extremely essential to make time for yourself in the day.
  • Inform your child and other family members that this particular time of the day you will be spending for your recreation.
  • Read, sit silent, listen to music, just breathe, run or have a cup of coffee all by yourself. This will help you de-stress from all the issues you may be facing currently. It may or may not give you a solution but you will definitely be in a much better state of mind to manage your own alongwith someone else’s life.

 

4. House rules

  • Divide the housework between all family members depending on each one’s capacity.
  • Rotate these responsibilities between all regularly; weekly/ monthly
  • Family time- daily/ weekly

This does not necessarily mean spending money by going out but could just mean playing a board game together at home, cooking together, playing games, sharing stories, drawing, gardening or just talking to each other.

SMART TIP- If you have a teenage child, involving him/ her in setting the rules will help him/ her feel important and responsible.

 

5. Get more Talktime

Open, honest and frank discussions of house matters (finances, relationships etc) with your children gives them a good understanding of the family situation and on how to deal with it in future.

 

6. Yes, you can say ‘No’

When it is necessary to deny something that is harmful or unhealthy for your child, you have every right to do so as a parent. The consequence of denying it will depend a lot on how you say ‘No’.

  • Hear out your child fully.
  • Understand the need and from where it has risen.
  • Explain why you think he cannot have it.
  • If he/she throws a tantrum, be patient, ignore or firmly assert you will not be giving in to it.

 

7. Do not use the stick, but don’t hesitate to keep one in the hand

There are numerous creative and tactful ways of bringing up a child with discipline. Few among them are; explaining, being assertive and firm, being a friend, feigning anger and scolding when necessary and most importantly being a good role model yourself, but NOT hitting the child. The child may withdraw completely or may become over powering and obstinate in years to follow.

 

8. Reward and not bribe

Encourage your child for every small thing he or she does. Remember that the effort your child puts in is more important than the result. This reward is a positive re-enforcement and not a bribe.

At the same time, punishing him/her for doing wrong is also important.  When choosing your punishment, just be cautious not shatter his/ her self-esteem. Rather, be creative and give a constructive punishment through which the child will learn something new as well.

 

9. Act by ignoring

Your child may seek your attention by doing the wrong things like throwing tantrums or crying. If you react to these, your child will use it as his/ her wild card everytime. In such cases, act by ignoring. Now, your child knows you are not a weakling. Welcome to smart parenting

 

10. Be Happy

You are the first role model for your child. You need to be very careful and conscious of whatever you say and do. Moreover, you need to be happy if you want your child to be happy. 

 
 
 

Author's bio.: Dr. Shruti Kamath is a Consultant Homoeopath by formal education, an arts based therapist (specialised for special needs children), with a Diploma training in Psychology & Psychiatry, Indian classical dancer & singer by interest, explorer, constant learner, nature's lover by soul.

 

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